I’m the kind of guy who would hire a hooker
so she could hold me while I ugly-cry
into her breasts
The more true it feels the less funny
it gets
Are animal zoos cruel?
a) yes
b) no
c) is it okay if I sit this one out one damn time, dammit, Jesus…
d) let’s ask twitter
According to @Uberfacts there were human zoos
as late as the 1950s, where white people put people
of other races on display. There’s no sitting this one out, bub
Shame, anger, and guilt seem like normal responses
to this information so don’t read the comments – someone
is bound to respond #AllLivesMatter
We are a fucked up species of creature.
Do you think horses have this many
varieties of mental illness?
Somebody retweeted somebody saying “Disney Withdrawal
Is the Absolute Worst FOR REAL” and the first thing that popped
Into my head was #FirstWorldProblems.
Call me if you have any idea what we think we’re even doing
#IThinkTheresSomethingWrongWithUs
